It's more than just a songbird

So...while waiting for the man to get online and to Skype with him. I decided to watch Adele's 'Live at Royal Albert Hall'. The clips of this concert have been posted all over YouTube and I have seen some of those, especially my favorite songs of her.

The YouTube clips did not impress me at all. Until I saw Malin (a theatre friend of mine) posted 'Someone Like You' performance from the concert, I was moved. The freaking Adele cried at the end of the song! Hence, I would suggest for those who want to experience it, do watch the whole concert and not just the clips from YouTube.

Then, what's next? I Torrent-ed the concert (yes, SOPA didn't go thru!).

Here I was. Watching the concert and totally blown away.
From her hits (“Rolling in the Deep,’’ “Chasing Pavements’’) to heartfelt covers (including a fantastic, rootsy rendition of the SteelDrivers’ “If It Hadn’t Been for Love’’), the performances are routinely inspired. With the voice of an angel - and the potty mouth of a sailor - she’s a force throughout.

Being an artist, one's hardest task is really putting out your heart to the audiences. Be it a painter, author, singer, actors, etc. you have to be genuine of who you are and not being afraid of being 'naked' for the audiences. In this concert, Adele has totally shown to her fans, on the grandeur stage of Royal Albert Hall, of who she truly is - or an artist, lover, woman or human, in that matter.

I totally envy her courages and artistic instincts when it comes to presenting her oeuvres. You'd get to know how did she get to write songs in her album, who inspires her, why she wrote the songs, and what she feels about all of them.

When she cries at the end of the concert, right after a singalong of “Someone Like You,’’ there’s no doubt her emotions are genuine. It’s such a poignant moment that you’re left wishing Adele a speedy recovery. She clearly belongs in front of an audience.

It isn't just a peek through neighbor's window

Let me break this long hiatus with personal notes on A Separation or 'Jodái-e Náder az Simin'. It is such a breathtaking masterpiece. Often when I choose a film or any form of performing arts, I would pick those with strong touches on humanity. A Separation has that ability of awing you at the first glance. It'll, then, grab your hands and run across magnificent discoveries of humanity.

Warning

Spoiler

A Separation opens with Simin (Leila Hatami) and Nader (Peyman Moadi) facing a magistrate (and facing the camera, and hence, facing us). She has applied to leave Iran and wants her daughter, Termeh (Sarina Farhadi, the director's daughter), and husband to come along. But Nader won't go - his father, who suffers from Alzheimer's, needs his care.

Nader goes to work, and Razieh comes into their apartment, her daughter in tow, to tend to the old man. This arrangement doesn't work out, however: Nader returns home early one day to discover his father strapped to the bed, Razieh nowhere to be found.

What follows - an argument, an accusation, a push - is left open to interpretation, with Nader and his family on one side, and the fiery Hodjat and his clan on the other. And all of the chauvinist and religious biases of their country in between.

In those argument, accusation and push, everybody, in his/her utmost honesty on being the humans created for them, is simply trying to protect his/her loved ones, all the way to the points telling lies. The storyteller has put his heart on on telling the truth of the story, in which cultural and classes’ differences are being laid upon the audiences on its naked truth. For example, Razieh has to call her religious leader asking if she could touch an old man, Nader’s father, helping him out on his dirty clothing. She even afraid to swear upon Al-Quran on telling the truth about the pregnancy that she doubts caused by Nader. I was not startled much when I saw this, since I have seen and experienced such conditions. However, the story transcends itself easily and connects to other audiences who have never heard or seen this.

Thus, often audiences/people are afraid of watching or experiencing things outside of their comfort zone, they should realized that the in depth of their understanding on one issue, culture, norms, or people, is not something hard to swallow. By making A Separation specific to Iranian society, the storyteller has ensured his piece can travel the world. The movie has tremendous and compassionate understanding of human behavior, family bonds, and the way ordinary people would respond when they’re forced into a moral quandary. I can’t imagine anyone not being transfixed by it.

Technically, much of A Separation takes place in confined spaces: Nader’s middle-class apartment, the chambers of a courthouse, a hallway where the fateful act takes place. The director uses his camera to emphasize the spaces between people and their spatial proximity to each other. He wants to convey the physical realities of his characters as well as the emotional ones. That’s the sort of detail many filmmakers often overlook, because it doesn’t seem important. But this wise, humane movie wants us to empathize with its characters, and the more we understand their everyday reality, the deeper we’ll be drawn into their lives. A Separation succeeds so well that the end result is pulverizing. Sometimes, in an attempt to do the best we can for the people we love, we end up wreaking irreparable damage.

"If mainstream cinema leaves you soulless, see this film.
If you have a modicum of intelligence, see this film.
If you like great acting and directing, see this film.
If you like great writing and editing, see this film.
If you are a parent, see this film.
If you are a son or daughter, see this film"

Where's my expiation?

It has been two days that I woke up in the morning having the crappiest feeling ever. I wish I didn't wake up at all, I wish I would wake up in 10 years after, I wish I woke up not knowing what has happened, I wish I woke up that everything stayed still and I could run to those moments I screwed up and fix them, and I really really really wish I woke up next to the greatest man I have ever met in my whole life.

But, there I go. Sometimes reality has a way sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long - or worst, lying to the only person who you care the most and who matters to you of all things. We are tired, we are scared, denying doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

Sometimes the smallest thing in life changes something forever and there will be times when you wish you can go back to how things used to be but you just can't because things have change so much. And, now, you tell me when the smallest thing is the biggest thing in my life.

I am taking all in. Paying for all the consequences. Even if i have to lose the most precious things i have ever had to get that chance again, to be there again, to look at you again, to smile with you again, to hold your hands again, to kiss you again and to love you again.

When you kiss me, heaven sighs

Give your heart and soul to me,

And life will always be

La vie en rose

Twisting and Turning

Lightning - It may strike twice.

When we say things like "people don't change", it drives scientist crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science - always love my chemistry and physics classes. Energy. Matter. It's always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. They way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change that's up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like a pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like any moment, we can be born all over again.

why it matters?

I, recently, saw Blue Valentine. I was bugging myself to find a copy of the movie anywhere I could, to a point of driving up to Wangsa Maju at 2 am checking out at a pasar malam there. I even almost wanted to subscribe to Netflix using GE's office IP address - stay up late in the office and turn on the Netflix. And I finally found it at Low Yatt - duh! It was worth the effort. Such stellar performances from both Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams supported by a talented kid, Faith Wladyka.

If there's only thing I've realized or found from this piece is how scary or frightening life could be out there. Brutally honest on the most possible reality in relationship of human beings, the piece offers a refreshingly honest perspective of situation in which "happily ever after" is hard to be sought after. An autopsy of a failed relationship (or marriage in a certain extent), in contrasts the giddy honeymoon beginning with the heartbreaking and wrenching sad denouement after dysfunction has devastated the groundwork of hope and newness.The whole storytelling, for me, is driven by a majestic performances and brilliant lines (rumors say that most of them were improvised, more credit to the performances). There's a great deal of intensity in the acting and some of the confrontations between Dean and Cindy are difficult because of the amount of feeling brought to their roles by Gosling and Williams. It is so packed with honesty of the actual character's feelings. Audience may say that Gosling and Williams are just being themselves, but i've gotta prove them wrong if they have done some acting before.
Here you go. Usually, in your acting 101, the acting teacher will pass a handout pretty much like this -

Physical. What does the character look like? How do the character’s physical attributes play a role in the story? How does the character feel about his or her physical attributes? How does the character change physically during the story? How do these changes affect the character’s experience?

Intellectual. How would you describe this character’s intelligence? What does this character know? How does this character’s intellect compare to others in the story? Is this character smart enough to thrive in the world in which he or she lives? What does this character learn as the story develops?

Emotional. How does this character feel most of the time? How do his or her feelings change throughout the story? How does this character feel about himself or herself? When faced with challenges in the story, what emotions come up for this character?

Social. How does this character get along with other characters in the story? Who does this character choose for friends and why does this character choose them? Where does this character stand in the social order? How does this character’s social standing affect events in the story?

Philosophical. What does this character believe about the way life is? What are these beliefs based on? How do these beliefs affect the choices this character makes? How do those beliefs change throughout the story? Do others in the story share these beliefs?

And you'd be like me, 'Can we just get some acting goin on now. Read the lines and say it on stage. You say your lines and i say mine. If it doesn't sound right, let us know'. But, the teacher always knows better! That's what i just realized after watching this movie.

There are few scenes in this movie where squabbling happens between Dean and Cindy. It's one of those scenes where both people are in an argument that they are both talking simultaneously to prove the other is wrong. It escalates and bursts or stops. Classic acting scene. But, it ain't that easy. If you do not 'own' the character well, or answering honestly the questionnaire above and truly live under that imaginary circumstances, the lines memorized will be spit out like nothing or worst, you stumble on some words.

It's all because you are living as YOU, not the character. The character has history or those answers to the questions above that it'll make the words come out almost spontaneously. You will not feel the emotion perfectly and trust me, if you do not feel it, the audience will not feel it too! Unless you totally psyched by the character's life and fully 'own' it, it'll come out easily up to a point that you do not feel like you're just spitting out lines. Let say the lines go as "I didn't want to be somebody's husband and I didn't want to be somebody's dad, that wasn't my goal in life. But somehow it was. I work so I can do that". You've gotta believe in those words you say and you won't believe it until you know that you really wanna be a husband and why?, a father, why? whose father? whose husband? what it feels like to be those two? what about it you want them so much?

Gosling and Williams totally master this art - in fact, some of the same league thespians. When they pull out such scene, it feels like humanity is just lying naked in front of me. And when that is clear to me, the journey of the beings could be seen in the simplest manner but brutally sad!

The kind of movies or piece of arts, I like to see, is the kind that leaves something in me after i walk out of the venue. It makes me think or question the reality of my life - note, it ain't just from dramas. Blue Valentine comes on like a bittersweet cautionary tale. A story, I supposed, I've gone through, not literally, close enough not to be able to pull myself out of it for quite a while. A searing portrait of failure of not just a wonderful and hopeful relationship, but more importantly, the love that once fueled it.