A less defeating path

Falling to the ground
I was anxious to be found
You can always go home
To the safety of your cloud

All he wants

This song breaks me into bit and pieces. Again. What does it mean when people say their hearts are broken into pieces? It is that moment in between you can't hold yourself up together and your head is held up high; and you're totally down on the ground unable to move into the direction of happiness and anything that comes along the way.

Again.

Out of water

Will a shark
be as fearless
in a
forest?
Can the devil
survive
in heaven?
Will a tiger
still roar
on the face of
the moon,
or will it
whimper
more meekly
than
a lamb?
If the moon
can linger
on a morning
so bright,
why can't
the sun
do the same
at night?

When you are gone

But if only God
would grant me
a piece
of His courage,
I might face
your absence
without dying.
But if only you would
take me
with you
wherever you go,
I would find
home
in a million different
places.
And I would sweeten you
in a million different
ways.
Before you are sleepy,
I will have already placed
a thigh
under your falling
head.
Before you are hungry,
I am already peeling
onions.
When you are
angry with me,
I shall
kiss you.
When you are not,
I shall kiss you
twice.
If you should die
before me,
I shall lie down
beside you.
Whisper a joke
into your half-listening ear.
Promise
the ultimate promise
of eternal companionship.
When you are gone,
I do not die,
But I am forever
dying.

Well, you know that's a lie

A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right, and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.


 

So why d'you have to lie?
I take it I'm your crutch
The pillow in your pillow case
It's easier to touch

What's the point of this song? Or even singing?
You've already gone, why am I clinging?
Well I could throw it out, and I could live without
And I could do it all for you
I could be strong
Tell me if you want me to lie
'Cause this has got to die

Don't look back at this crumbling fool

  Didn't I give it all?Tried my bestGave you everything I hadEverything and no less

Love IS a battlefield

There is no better film to watch other than In The Land of Blood & Honey, after I get back from Birotatanegara Camp (sorta a boot camp but less military). As Angelina Jolie's directing and writing debut, the piece gives a perfect reflection of what is happening intricately in Malaysian politics, nowadays, and the war in Bosnia-Herzegovina. I am gonna leave that to my fellow Malaysians to observe it in the film.

If you look at her portfolio as an actress (The Tourist, Salt, Wanted, Tomb Raider, Original Sin, Mr. Mrs. Smith), you’d never thought of seeing this piece from her. As her first time directing and writing, Angelina has an artist’s eye, strong personal vision, and a masterful command of her stars.

It is 1992 and tensions between Serbs and Bosnians in the former Yugoslavia were escalating to frightening levels. Ajla (Zana Marjanovic), an artist and a Bosnian, agrees to go out on a date with Danijel (Goran Kostic), a cop and a Serb. They meet at a club and as the evening progresses, dance and flirt with each other. Their date ends when a bomb explodes in the club killing many people. Ajla and Danijel survive but they are now thrust headlong into the center of a war characterized by a newly designated term, “ethnic cleansing”.

This piece highlights the savagery of the Serbs. Danijel has been given the position of running a military camp by his father, Serbian General Nebojsa (Rade Serbedzija). When Ajla is one of the women rounded up to be a sex slave in his camp, he saves her from rape. Danijel keeps her away from his men and takes her as his lover. Having a Bosnian Muslim for a lover and protecting her, is highly dangerous for him.

Zooming out to the actuality of the war, this ruthless movie puts a human face on a conflict that was all but ignored by the rest of the world even as it encompassed the worst genocide in Europe since the Nazis and horrific war crimes from mass systematic rape to the use of civilians as human shields.

Of course I have heard about “ethnic cleansing” but this film boldly and bluntly puts it all out there like an untold story. The rape and humiliation of the women and Nazi-like behavior of the soldiers is harrowing – important because it happened in the 1990s. The Serbian soldiers killed civilians as ruthlessly as the Nazis. They took people from their homes with the same violence shown the Jews during Hitler’s reign.

If there is one good reason why this piece lost to the Iranian masterpiece, A Separation, in last year’s academy award, it should be the direction in acting and weak script. While I am sure that romances such as the one depicted in this movie do occur, the movie is unconvincing. What happens on the screen seems impossible, despite a good many things the actors and technical people do very well. Even the good choices Jolie makes, such as her insistence in casting actors unknown to U.S. audiences and having them say their lines in their native Serbo-Croatian, are undone by the terrible love story at the movie’s core.

Never less than competent, it’s clearly the result of a sincere, long-harbored desire to raise awareness of these horrific, dehumanizing events. It is frequently said that those who forget history are doomed to repeat it and, with that in mind, it’s an almost entirely noble endeavor. The film’s treatment of Serb characters – most of whom are portrayed as monsters beyond redemption – has already proved controversial and divisive for many in the Balkans as they look to move on from the past.