It has been two days that I woke up in the morning having the crappiest feeling ever. I wish I didn't wake up at all, I wish I would wake up in 10 years after, I wish I woke up not knowing what has happened, I wish I woke up that everything stayed still and I could run to those moments I screwed up and fix them, and I really really really wish I woke up next to the greatest man I have ever met in my whole life.
But, there I go. Sometimes reality has a way sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long - or worst, lying to the only person who you care the most and who matters to you of all things. We are tired, we are scared, denying doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?
Sometimes the smallest thing in life changes something forever and there will be times when you wish you can go back to how things used to be but you just can't because things have change so much. And, now, you tell me when the smallest thing is the biggest thing in my life.
I am taking all in. Paying for all the consequences. Even if i have to lose the most precious things i have ever had to get that chance again, to be there again, to look at you again, to smile with you again, to hold your hands again, to kiss you again and to love you again.
