Not hopeful, but sure.

I could promise, to hold you, and to cherish you.

I could promise, to be there in sickness and in health.

I could say, till death do us part.

But I won't.

Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope.

And I do not stand here, optimistic, or full of hope.

I am here with you not to be optimistic, I am not hopeful.

I am sure.

I am steady.

And I know...

I'm a heart-man.

Take them apart, but put them back together.

I hold them in my hands.

I am a heart man.

So this I am sure.

You are my partner, my lover and my best friend.

My heart, MY heart, beats for you.

And on this day, I promise you this;

I promise you, to lay my heart in the palm of your hands.

I promise you, Me!

Well, that's what I am gonna say in our next meet. Hope it'll go well.

On another note, this song was recorded by two of my favorite female singers, Brandi Carlile and Adele. It does not accurately portray the actual event, close enough. Oh yeah, the song was featured in Grey's Anatomy once and Adele's new singles were the opening and closing songs in latest episode of Grey's.

Humor-Impaired

This is what I've got to say about an insightful comments on my personality from a wonderful man I've ever met so far since Evan.

I have a capacity for humor but have been denying it, and suppressing it in my voice. I was repeatedly told by my family, friends and him that I lacked a sense of humor and do i ever feel bored out of it. I believed them. I am serious. I fall into the rut of a habit. My voice becomes controlled, terribly self-important and sounded arrogant. People rely on me for help, personally and professionally, so I become adept at a good discussion but isn't what you would call a barrel of laughs to be around. With this kind of voice, i felt, my opinions are worthy and carry weight. I act in a tolerant manner but sound like an intellectual snob. My voice says it all. I am the perfect specimen of someone 'humor-impaired'

Then, I am putting everything above in the past tense after meeting him. Those are my past. Thank YOU.

Did I mention that he's super adorable?

Updates!

I know it has been a while since the last post. It's funny that you're afraid of "saying" things online so that it'll come out properly giving the right impression to those who read it. Facebook stati, Tweets, FourSquare or even posts on your blogs. I get really cautious especially not having a full grasp of who are those people reading it. Anywho, here are some sort of updates (revelation!) of my life currently:

1) Resigned being a risk modeler! (Ah! How much I do not know if this is the right decision. Seriously!)

2) A new position at General Electric International Inc. as a Market Research Analyst (Corporate) (I am loving this so far)

3) Theater for Youth People at Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre (KL PAC) audition this weekend

- Ariel from The Tempest by Bill Shakespeare ("You are three men of sin!....")

- Man from Laughing Wild by Christopher Durang ("I was in the supermarket yesterday...")

- Tom from The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams ("I am going to opium dens...")

- Don't Explain by Billie Holiday.

Tim Howe, a theater instructor, a good friend of mine, whom I was involved in the creative process for his play recently, has got to say this; "Why you want to audition for such kids programme? You've got enough skills and experience to audition for an actual plays!". One thing about doing theatre in Malaysia is that the community needs to know you before you go for an audition for a regular play. You've gotta be Awie or Atilia to lead Lat the Musical, you've gotta be Nam Ron or Zahiril Adzim to be in Shorteyes! Look at who I am now? Yes, this is how I am going to start it. It's a 6-month programme that requires a full commitment. I am in it. (I've started to spell 'programme' with 'me'!)

Finally) I don't have to try so hard to have wonderful moments in my life. And now, I believe that God speaks to us constantly. And He speaks, not just with the words of the holy books, but also through the things that surround us; things which we see, smell and touch.

Ciao!